Less & More: The WFH Mom Edit

We just finished rec baseball and soccer for my son and daughter. I have thoughts. Here they are, in no particular order.

Here we are in mid-November, and while the NFL season is in full swing, our 2025 stint with youth fall sports has come to a close. The first thing I’ll say that might set the tone for this whole post, is that we’ve never had two kids in different sports at the same time before. The schedule alone was a lot for my minimalist mom energy. For anyone who doesn’t know, rec sports usually means one practice and one game per week, so to save you from doing the math yourself, that meant two practices plus two games per week for us. That’s a lot of sports minutes for just seven little days, week after week.

And that’s REC, y’all. People on actually competitive teams spend a lot more hours per week practicing and gaming, not to mention those who travel for weekend tournaments. Can I just ask: are you all doing ok? How do you have time to do ANYTHING else? My hat is off to your fortitude! One of my littles contemplated a more competitive league for about 12 seconds until I told her what the schedule was like and that it would preclude her from doing anything else while the season was on and she quickly backed down to the rec level. I know so many people do it – I’m obviously the odd man out here, but it still just kind of blows my mind for these age groups. If it’s what your kid loves and you want to support it, you’re a stellar and committed parent.

OK, so now that we’ve established that my kids are definitely not playing at an even remotely competitive level, you’d think all the minutes on the field would be pretty casual, right? WRONG. This season, I watched as grown men screamed at each other about whether an eight year old was out at second and because a 10 year old was awarded a penalty kick after a handball in the box. In these and other situations, the children sort of just looked around, baffled by all the fuss because I guess to them – it just wasn’t that serious. I’m as competitive as the next person, and I love it when my kids’ teams win (and when they do well personally!), but engaging in full blown conflict with another adult I’ve never met due to a difference of opinion over a play in a game? Maybe I don’t care enough.

Let’s make a quick stop on the complaint express for some gratitude, though, eh? I didn’t coach this season for the first time ever, and having done it so many times myself before, I could not be MORE grateful to the coaches for dedicating the time and effort to work with these kids (as I mentioned before, it’s quite a time suck!). We were so lucky this season to have a whole sea of adults who wanted to contribute to both kids’ teams on the coaching staff and for that, I am as thankful as all get out. It also makes me so grateful for the soccer coaches I had throughout my life, especially on rec teams where they were volunteers. I didn’t understand at the time what they were donating or giving up from their own personal lives, but I get it 100% now and I was one lucky kiddo. Thanks to all of you, from the bottom of my heart.

Speaking of when I was a kid … I sort of remember that starting pretty young, my parents would drop me at practice and pick me up when it was over. Now, whether it’s due to traffic or involvement, I don’t know, but the norm is for parents to stay and watch practice. I didn’t think much of it, honestly, I would usually just bring a book and my new amazing rocking folding chair, but then I heard Abby Wambach talking on a podcast about how you shouldn’t watch your kids practice. Her reasoning makes a lot of sense. If they feel they are being watched, they can’t try new things freely without being worried about messing up in front of you. And, as I am totally guilty of, parents who watch practice are a lot more likely to coach on the car ride home, which may conflict with what the actual coach said (guilty x2 over here!).

And during games too. Used to being the coach, I definitely try to help my kiddos out during the game with some well intentioned direction. But as I reflect on the seasons now, I realize that was probably not such a great thing to do. My daughter flat out told me that it was hard to listen to me and her coach and that we were frequently saying different things. I might not like that, but it’s her soccer life and I have to let her do, make mistakes, fail and win on her own if she’s ever going to feel invested in her game. With baseball, they make so many rules for those kids to follow (a runner is out if an infielder is holding a ball, but NOT if an outfielder has it and runs to the infield?), I know any shouting I did was just adding to the commotion. It’s so hard, but if my kids choose to play sports again, I’m totally committed to keeping my trap shut other than positive encouragement.

I guess what this all adds up to is … are we adults ruining kids’ sports? We want them to be good and learn a lot – it’s all coming from a good place. But, is more always more? I really don’t know. As I opened with, this was essentially my first foray into being a full blown sports family (rec only! I know that’s an important distinction to make!), so maybe I’m just really inexperienced. If we do this again next year, I’ll have to chat it out with Sarah, since I know she’s a professional travel baseball mom. For now, I’m going to enjoy my time off. Neither of my kids is even remotely interested in basketball and Ella’s twice a week theater rehearsals don’t start until January. So, we’ve got a nice long break to figure it all out and reflect. Input from all you sports parents out in the crowd are more than welcome – shout it out in the comments!