Less & More: The WFH Mom Edit

Every mom I talk to has a different opinion about kids, chores and allowance money. There are arguments against having kids do chores for money, which I totally understand – you don’t want your kids to think they don’t have to lift a finger around the house unless they are getting paid to do so. BUT money is an excellent motivator, especially when they get old enough to start wanting things outside of birthday gifts. Here is the compromise we arrived at for our family.

Allowance Parameters:

Every week, my kids get $7 each – $1 for every day that they contributed to our family. This means they did their assigned daily/weekly/monthly chores (more on that in a bit), cooperated, helped each other and their parents out when asked and generally kept in good standing as a Morey family member.

We have a white board in the main area of our house with each child’s name and the days listed underneath. Every day, each of them is responsible for coming to me to provide proof of the above requirements, and together, we circle the day if we agree they met them. On Saturdays, we tally up the number of circles they have for the week to determine the total amount they receive.

I always give them a choice: they can deposit their money in a high yield savings account I’ve set up for each of them (currently at 3.8% APY!) OR I will give them cash. We’ve had multiple conversations about interest and the benefits of each: saving money OR having it in liquid cash on hand when needed. When we go over their finances each week, I tell them how much interest they’ve earned to date throughout the year and remind them that having a larger amount in the bank will lead to higher “free money” through interest. But all that financial gobbledegook is another post for another time.

Benefits of this Arrangement:

Because the kids see their weekly payout as a “salary” for their overall contributions to the household and not as a payout for chores, it’s less likely that the threat from this article will come to fruition. The author cites: “Daniel Pink, author of The New York Times bestseller, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, tells us that paying kids to do chores ‘...sends kids a clear (and clearly wrongheaded) message: In the absence of a payment, no self-respecting child would willingly set the table, empty the garbage, or make her own bed. …. It converts a moral and familial obligation into just another commercial transaction–and teaches that the only reason to do a less-than-desirable task for your family is in exchange for payment.’”

Not only is our arrangement not a 1:1 money for chores exchange, but we routinely discuss the concept of family contributions and their importance. We all have priorities and things we’d like to do and have as a family – these contributions make sure those can happen. For instance, if someone doesn’t do the dishes, we won’t have any clean plates to eat on the next time you are hungry. Or if we don’t clean the floors, we’ll all be living in a gross pigsty that could make us sick or prevent us from playing in areas we want to use. Additionally, we impose consequences for not completing chores beyond not receiving the daily allowance. It might be screen time reduction or cancelation of plans with friends so that the chores can be completed at another time. All of these factors work together to send the message to our kids that they aren’t doing the chores simply for money. It’s what is expected of them as a member of the family that takes care of each other and wants what’s best for everyone.

Allowance Chores:

I’m sure this will shock no one after learning how I plan for hosting Thanksgiving, but we have a spreadsheet to cover chore responsibilities. It’s printed out and hung on the white board where we track daily allowance eligibility so no one needs to argue over who is responsible for which chores on any given day. There are daily, weekly and every other weekly chores assigned to each child based on age.

DAILY CHORES

Ella, Age 10 Daily Chores:

• Water the plants

• Feed our cat, Luna

• Make her lunch for school

• Ensure homework is finished

Linus, Age 6 Daily Chores:

• Fold kitchen linens (we use cloth napkins and dishrags instead of sponges, so we have a fairly steady stream of laundry in this genre)

• Feed our dog, Waylon

• Make his lunch for school

• Ensure homework is finished

WEEKLY CHORES

Ella, Age 10 Weekly Chores:

• Bring the trash cans down from the curb on trash day

• Sweep the floors to prep them for vacuuming

• Wash our dog, Waylon

• Wipe down the windows at the back of the house

• Dust the baseboards in the living room and dining room

• Take care of her own laundry

• Keep the playroom clean

Linus, Age 6 Weekly Chores:

• Spray down the kitchen trash can with the hose outside

• Empty all trash cans in the house

• Mop the floors downstairs

• Wipe down the windows at the front of the house

• Dust all surfaces in the living room

• Take care of his own laundry

• Keep the playroom clean

BI WEEKLY CHORES

Ella, Age 10 Bi Weekly Chores:

• Clean her bathroom (includes toilet, tub, sink and floor)

• Clean the toilet and floor of our shared downstairs bathroom

• Vacuum both sets of stairs
  

Linus, Age 6 Bi Weekly Chores:

• Clean his bathroom (includes toilet, tub, sink and floor)

• Clean the counter and sink of our shared downstairs bathroom

• Vacuum the furniture on the screened in porch

We also have a shared set of chores that rotates daily. ChatGPT helped me set up this schedule! Here are the chores included in that list:

• Setting the table (for all meals)

• Clearing the table (for all meals)

• Putting the silverware away

• Wiping down the dining room table and kitchen counters

• Washing the dishes (for all meals)

• Taking care of our chickens (includes food and water replenishment and coop cleaning when needed)

Benefits of these Chores:

Teaching my kids about caring for your belongings:

We used to have someone come and clean our house every two weeks. It was something we started when I was pregnant with Linus because I was throwing up so much that I could barely handle any responsibility other than taking care of toddler Ella. It was a convenience I got mighty hooked on, but a couple of years ago I realized that I wanted my children to learn how to take care of their own belongings and that started with all of us taking care of the house we choose to live in. I’ll be the first to admit that when I bought the house we live in, I had no idea what went into taking care of a space like this. Up until our purchase of the “Big Blue Manor” (a cutesy nickname I use to mask how much I hate the exterior paint color of our home), I had never lived anywhere but an apartment. That meant a couple of hours of cleaning here and there, but no yard, no garage, no excess living spaces to maintain. At our house, we have way too much interior space, a garage gym (that also doubles as storage) plus an acre of land to care for. It’s been a steep learning curve for me, but I’m determined to take the best care of it we can and make sure my kids understand the time costs associated with home ownership and maintenance, starting with these chores.

I really need the help:

Without assigning out these chores to the kids, we wouldn’t be able to do all of the things we love. Both Dan and I love to work out, a consistently time consuming hobby. We also love to cook and make food with the kids, which is rewarding and fun (again, another post for another time), but time consuming with prep and clean up on either end of the actual activity. We also take our dog care very seriously, making sure to walk Waylon about three miles per day to stimulate his brain/physical needs, as well as increase his health span and keep his toenails nice and trimmed! Take all that plus two working parents and kids who need rides to school and back plus any activities they are each participating in at any given moment … it doesn’t leave a plethora of free time with which to complete all the chores that need to get done. We truly need to work together to achieve the life we all want to keep living.

They’ll know how to clean as adults:

Some people get to college and don’t know how to do their laundry. I know, I’ve met folks like that. I don’t want my kids to be married and living in a home before they know how to clean a bathroom. The quality of their work is not top notch all the time, but practice is really helping. Ella is at the point where I can trust her to handle most jobs with a detail-oriented eye and creative know-how. Sometimes she even comes up with cleaning solutions and ideas that I hadn’t thought of and she teaches me things!

Extra Chores Beyond Allowance:

Why this exists:

We set up the kids’ allowances at fairly young ages because I wanted them to learn early on how to budget (quick shoutout for my treat budget policy!). Because they receive a fairly sizable amount every week (they actually usually get $10, but they were recently “demoted” at work due to inconsistent performance and are working their way back up), we have them pay for quite a bit of their own stuff. They recently saved up and made budgets for all the Christmas presents they wanted to buy for our family. My parents bolstered their savings a little with matching contributions to what they had saved, but they wrote out what they had, what they wanted to spend, made a list of recipients and worked from there. If one of them wants a new pair of shoes beyond what they receive for school year needs, they would use their allowance for that. Frequently, one or both of them will get something on the brain that they just “have to have” and money saving goes into hyper drive. For instance, right now, both of them want fish tanks. So, they have been begging for chores they can do to earn the extra money they need for supplies.

What kinds of chores we offer in this realm:

These kinds of jobs are out of the usual, run of the mill chores as listed above. I try to find things that really play to each one of their strengths. For example, Ella is a MASTER organizer, so I will give her the job of fixing up one of our chaotic closets or pantries. I’m always amazed at her results. Linus is a whiz with yard work, so I usually have him pull weeds or rake leaves.

Other ideas for “over the top” chores:

• Cleaning out specific drawers or cupboards – take everything out, wipe down all the surfaces, get rid of junk/trash and put everything back

• Garage cleanups: breaking down boxes, mopping our garage gym floor or picking up garbage that sometimes accumulates

• Cleaning out indoor/outdoor freezers – take everything out, wipe up any spills, throw out damaged/freezer burned foods, write down an updated inventory list, put everything back

• Scrubbing out the oven: my kids actually love to go at the interior of the oven with some Bar Keepers Friend and a Scrub Daddy (see Sarah’s post on other cleaning essentials that she loves)

• Swiffering under all beds, nightstands, dressers, etc. to catch all the dust bunnies that don’t get sucked up by regular vacuuming

Please do share in the comments any other chores that you think are great for kids. I’m always looking for new ways to put my kiddos to work!