Less & More: The WFH Mom Edit

First of all, I just need to take a moment to say that I am in absolute shock that I’m old enough to have a daughter who is headed to middle school next year because I’ve only just turned 22 myself. That being said, I’ve put a lot of thought into how our whole family can best prep for and adjust to having a rising middle schooler in the house.

Physically speaking, there are plenty of middle school shopping lists out there that include all the essentials – I’ve even worked with Ella to start a wishlist on Amazon to keep us organized. But beyond the backpacks, binders and shoes (not to mention a whole new uniform wardrobe required since she’s in a Catholic School!), there’s a lot of work we’re attempting to do behind the scenes for mental and emotional preparation.

After doing an audit of things that went well in fifth grade v. things that we agree she could have improved upon and noting specifically what weaknesses she has where improvement would be particularly important in middle school, I created a plan for Ella this summer. A middle school readiness plan.

It’s based on the fact that middle school asks more of kids. They have to manage a totally new routine (Ella has to get up about 30 minutes earlier this fall – 5:45am!). They have to manage a new teacher for EVERY subject. They have to manage a new building, tons of new friends and most likely, a different social structure. She’ll have less parental involvement, more responsibility for herself and her grades. I won’t be there as her class grade parent, leading Halloween parties and reminding her to bring home her Science book to study for Thursday’s test.

We got a head start on some of these things in fifth grade. So we decided to use the summer to really hone in on the top priorities and practice them.

Enter Project Middle School—a simple summer independence guide designed to help her become someone people can count on (and so that she can count on herself!).

For Ella specifically, the guide focuses on everyday habits SHE needs to work on like:

• Getting ready on time without reminders
• “Closing the Loop”
• Following through completely instead of leaving jobs half-finished
• Speaking confidently to adults
• Noticing what needs to be done and doing it without being asked
• Thinking ahead to make tomorrow easier

The plan includes weekly challenges to put these skills into action in a way where she can track her own progress.

Some of these include:

• Cooking an entire family meal and completely resetting the kitchen afterward
• Planning and hosting a social activity
• Teaching someone else something she feels confident about

It all ladders up to the Big Kahuna: A Reminder-Free Day. The ultimate goal is for her to successfully get through the events of a day (or two! or three!) without having to be managed as much. Hopefully, once she gets into a streak of not being nagged by her mom, she’ll realize how cool it is to be independent and manage your own time, schedule and life.

Why?

Middle school is hard enough. I’m hoping this will help create a confident and capable kid that starts one of the most challenging phases of life with an extra dose of self esteem under her belt. A lot of these skills in the guide relate directly to challenges she’ll face as a middle schooler, and the guide clearly outlines those correlations so she understands that these were not just skills chosen at random.

Download the Guide

If you have a rising middle schooler, I’d be happy for you to use it too. Or use your kids strengths and weaknesses to create your own!

You can download the complete Project Middle School Summer Independence Guide here.

I’d love to hear what skills you’re intentionally working on with YOUR kids leading up to middle school. Every family is different, and I’m always looking for ideas to add to future versions. After, all I’ll be doing this all again in just three short years, and I KNOW Linus’ version will have to be completely different than Ella’s.

Speaking of which, I’m actually working on a version of this for Linus – third grade is a relatively big deal at our elementary school (they get letter grades for the first time, for starters) and I think he could really benefit as well. So stay tuned for that!